There has been a lot of awareness in the news about mental illness and all things related to that. I frankly cannot remember a time when there has been so much discussion about depression in the popular media and it is rather strange. As I sit here typing this, I am flooded with so many conflicting emotions this week. It has been safe to say that there has been too much craziness and chaos circulating in the world recently. It has had me thinking on a lot of things I haven’t really thought of lately.
A lot has been said about what depression is and what it isn’t. I am no therapist. I dropped out of grad school before I got a master’s in the subject. What I do have is my own first hand experience on the subject and what it has felt like for me. I have suffered from it on and off again for most of my life.
For one thing, I am glad that depression is finally being discussed at length even for the briefest of moments. I won’t go into detail on the reasons behind my depression since I don’t think that is useful. I will talk about I remember being along in what would be the first of many therapy sessions which I have on and off over the years. I remember feeling like there was no one else in the world that could relate to me—that I was stupid just for being there. I remember the boring cream-colored walls and the creased magazines in the sitting room. There was some horrible elevator muzak playing in the background while a few people shuffled themselves in the lobby. I almost ran out but I didn’t. I made myself stay. That was the day I started getting some help for something that had been with me all my life.
I have not been in therapy for over almost a year now. I haven’t really needed to as I have been looking at forms of positive reinforcement and feeling a lot better overall. I credit this to having strong support from my friends and family while being able to think more clearly. I know I am probably going to be dealing with this on and off the rest of my life but I am surprisingly okay with that. I know that if I do my part, then good things can happen. That’s life anyways. Sometimes you will be on top of the world and sometimes you won’t. It’s the name of the game.
Because of the things I have experienced, I think that is why I have been so attracted to psychology and helping people. I am lucky enough that I can do that now with children in the DFCS system as part of the work that I do. Its funny how life works sometimes. This is def. true in my case.
For anyone out there who is or has suffered from depression, keep looking up. Things are never asa bad as you think they are. There are always people in you life that care about you and want to see you succeed. If you ever do feel bad, remember the good times in this world and keep your chin up.
Okay, thats enough of this. I promise I will go back to the good ole finance stuff in the next post.